A New Chapter: December 2015

It only took him 42 weeks and 3 days, but he's FINALLY here now!!!!! Brenden James Fletcher was born November 24th, 2015 at 9:37am. He was 8lbs, 12oz, and 20 1/4 inches.

It sure was a long road to get to this point, but he's finally here and we're all happy and healthy. What a journey though...

Saturday we went in to the hospital knowing that Lori would be there and we were set to have some monitoring done.

We got into our room and Lori had set it up as an induction appointment so that, should we need it, the room was available for us. The nurses didn't know all of this and were ready to admit us until we finally realized the miscommunication. First we started with another bio-physical profile. It was so weird to see him on the ultrasound monitor this time - knowing that within a day or so we would likely be seeing that little baby on the outside!! Once again though, he scored his 8 points out of 8. We ended up going back to the room and talked with Lori about what our options were. She said that she thought the best thing to start with would be the cook-catheter which would basically work on mechanically dilating me with no drugs or medical interventions. She said that often times that can kickstart labor and it was a good place to start. First she did another exam which was just as depressing as the last 4 appointments- still only 1 cm dilated, not extremely effaced and he was still at -3 station. Not what we wanted to hear. We started the catheter around 12p and contractions picked up to a consistent 4 minutes apart. Nothing terribly painful - I would need to breathe through them a little bit, but nothing horrible. All of the nurses that we had though consistently commented on the monitoring that he looked beautiful - heart rate was exactly as it should be. They like to keep the catheter in for 12 hours but by about 9p we could tell that the contractions had started to fizzle a bit- weren't getting any stronger, if anything they were getting weaker. A new midwife had started her shift by this point but in our talks with Lori, we already knew that based on the monitoring being fine, we wanted to give it a couple more days to take off on it's own if the catheter didn't cause anything to start. So, the new midwife came in, did an exam and from there our overall good experience of the day went downhill in a hurry. She was horrible. First off, as we were discussing things, she had to go sprinting out of the room because there was a woman who was a couple rooms down about ready to push. Well, all of a sudden we heard blood curdling screams...it was time. Being on the other side of that though knowing that that was what was coming...those screams haunted me for the next couple of days!! She came back in though, gave me the most terribly painful exam I've ever experienced in my life, in the end still wasn't even sure what my status was - she guessed 3 cm. Then, even though Lori had clued her in on our situation and what our plans were and that she had talked everything through with us, this woman still found it necessary to come and give us the medical lecture about what the doctors would think of her letting a woman 42 weeks pregnant go home and how our chances of still birth were increased at this point. It just went from bad to worse and frankly, even if he needed to be born at that point, we didn't trust anything about this woman. As Mark said, he would have taken me to Bronson before sticking around to deal with her. None of what she had to say was new information and we weren't ignorant to the risks of going late. We had been extremely cautious in making sure everything was monitored as it should be and that everything was coming up ok. Never in any of the tests was there even a tiny little bit of anything wrong- he continued to ace every test. Had he not, of course we would do anything necessary to get him out. In the end, we did end up leaving around midnight to go home with an induction set for 8am Monday if nothing happened before then.

Sunday came and went and then came Monday morning. Mom and dad came over to take care of Adie. Leaving her that morning was extremely tough and she was laying on the guilt trip pretty hard too. It was a difficult goodbye but we knew that this was the beginning of the end with this pregnancy and all of these hospital/dr appointments. We got to the hospital, got admitted and Megan was there, the midwife we primarily had for appointments with Adie who we loved so much. Due to lots of health problems, we hadn't gotten to have her for Brenden so it was a bittersweet thing to kind of be wrapping up our experience with her. She did an exam and said I was much more effaced- 60-70%, maybe 2-3cm, but still at least -3 station. Basically, my cervix was ready to have a baby, but he hadn't dropped to get anything going yet. Through lots of research we decided that we felt most comfortable with starting with Cytotec, even though we had sworn we would never touch it. Megan agreed with us though and thought that was definitely the best option in our situation. They had to hook me up to monitors first though to make sure everything with him looked good and to make sure I wasn't having more than 3-4 contractions within a 10 minute period. If I was, this drug could make them more intense than the uterus can handle and end up resulting in uterine rupture. Go figure...weak as they were, I was still having contractions as I had been for weeks at this point, and they were too close to start the Cytotec. Off to plan B- Pitocin which scared me big time. I'd heard about how intense the contractions could get for both me and baby and I was not thrilled but really, there was no other option.

We started the Pitocin at 1p. Like with the catheter, contractions picked up to about 4 minutes apart, nothing terrible. Throughout the day we walked the halls of labor and delivery a lot, bounced and rocked on the birthing ball, relaxed and napped in the bed, played cards, watched Friends…by 9p, nothing had really taken off so Janie, the midwife there at the time, thought we should stop the Pitocin, get some rest for the night and start things up again in the morning. We agreed, laid down to get some sleep and at 1:30a I woke up feeling a little trickle. I stood up from the bed and got the gush. Mark woke up and called for the nurse and it was obvious that there was meconium in the water- not a huge surprise being this late, but now introduced a new issue. They now wanted to monitor me/him continuously with the EFM. Even though nothing had shown any reason for concern up until this point, it was necessary now. Contractions started picking up in intensity and by about 3a we called mom and told her it was time to come join us. I explained it all to Mark and mom at that point as feeling almost narcoleptic- I’d be gone for a minute with a contraction, and when it was over, it was like ‘bing!!’ and I was back. So weird. Things continued to get stronger though and I ended up laboring in the tub for the rest of active labor. They had a terrible time keeping the monitors working while I was in the tub, even at one point I later found out, getting into a little bit of a panic at one point because they couldn’t get his heartbeat. Finally the pain was getting bad and intense enough that Janie said we needed to get to the bed to check. At that point I was about 7-8cm but it was no time at all that I was through transition and feeling the need to start pushing. Janie said, ‘Ok- let’s have a baby now!’ and so it started. Pushing was the most excruciating part with Adie and it was definitely no different with Brenden. I started pushing about 7:30, pushed for nearly 2 hours and was getting nowhere. I continued to hear from the midwife and nurses, “Give us a good push”, and “push into the pain” and “come on – on this next push, let’s have a baby”…but there was never anything that told me there was any progress, and I knew that was the case too. I never felt the sensation of him descending or crowning or anything. They had me trying so many different positions in the bed and at one point both Brenden’s and my heart rate dropped. His stayed low through two contractions and they ended up having a doctor come in to check on things. I was on oxygen at this point trying to help Brenden out and Mark kept encouraging me to take deep breaths for Brenden. By the time the doctor came to the room, his heart rate had gone back up. The longer I pushed the more I knew I wasn’t getting anywhere. Nobody wanted a natural childbirth in all of this more than Mark or I, although there were even a couple nurses and student midwives who had joined us in the room and/or stayed late after their shift to see the end of it. I finally looked over to Mark at one point and said, “just let them cut me – I just don’t care anymore…he’s not coming.” They had a doctor come in who is apparently one of the best at being able to either manually turn the baby (because at this point they had discovered in the exam that he was posterior), and he was also the best at forcep deliveries. He came in, did an exam and Brenden was still so high that neither or those was even an option. He looked up at me and said, “Ok…we’re going to do a c-section.” My heart sank because while in that moment I didn’t so much feel like I’d let myself down (because I knew in my heart that something wasn’t right and he wasn’t coming), but I felt like I had let everyone in that room down. I started apologizing to everyone for not being able to go through with it and I looked up to see one of the nurses with her arm around one of the student midwives who was in tears due to how it was all turning out. Janie looked at me and said, ‘Honey – don’t apologize you have done everything you possible could.’ Mom had later asked her too, knowing I would want to know, if I had made the right decision and Janie agreed that it was what had to be done – he wasn’t coming. I asked the doctor how long until they’d be ready for me and he said, “We’ll get everything ready as fast as we can.” And I remember looking at him and saying, “That doesn’t mean anything to me – how much longer!?” He told me probably 45 minutes and then I lost it- “I said 45 minutes!?!? There’s no way – I’ve already been pushing for 2 hours – you have to get him out sooner!” Who talks back to a doctor like that!? A woman in labor apparently!! I want to say I went through maybe 3-4 more contractions and then they came to get me. Mark was suited up for the operating room and they wheeled me through the hall to the elevator, down to the operating room and that was no fun – contractions through the whole trip. I had to say goodbye to Mark so that they could go get me prepped and that was hard. Mark later said he sat in a room on his own just waiting. They had told him they’d be back in just a couple minutes, but it lasted an eternity with him wondering what was taking so long. They took me into the operating room and did the spinal and from that point forward – WOW. Everything was better. Instantly the pain of the contractions subsided. As they were prepping me I had the most wonderful two nurses with me who explained everything and encouraged me. Robyn, who had been with us all day, was with me and I asked her if I had done the right thing and she said absolutely. She later told Mark that while Brenden may have come on his own eventually, it would have been a lot more time and not without a lot of trauma to both him and I. They said that I would be able to be awake unless they couldn’t get the spinal to take effect, then they’d have to do the general and put me out- which I absolutely didn’t want. I still had sensation where they were touching so finally someone suggested tipping me back a bit and that’s what finally did it. Mark came in and I could tell he’d been crying. I looked at him and asked if he was ok and he said no- while he was still living it all and worried about it all, I was so relieved that it was about to be over and the pain of contractions was gone that I was doing just fine! They had told me that I would feel a lot of tugging/pulling and that was a really bizarre sensation…much like feeling your face after the dentist…you can feel the touch, but it’s still numb. Finally I heard a little baby crying. That was a blissful moment. He was finally here. After waiting 42 ½ weeks for him, going through two full days of induction attempts, 6 hours of natural, active labor, 2 hours of unsuccessful pushing…he was here. Mark left to go over to the warming table with Brenden and I had an incredible nurse at my side and a great anesthesiologist above my head who were both so great at clueing me in on everything going on- telling me how beautiful and perfect and adorable my baby was and letting me know what was still being done to me too. Then they brought him over to me and we got to snuggle there in the operating room for a few minutes before heading to recovery. Awesome moment. While not at all the beautiful, natural experience it was with Adie, there was such relief that came with him finally being here and being ok.

Then we were off to recovery. It was a bit scary in both the operating room and recovery because I was shaking so much…more than shivering, almost convulsively shaking. The nurse explained that it’s just the body’s way of responding to the shock and trauma of everything. Then in recovery, he breastfed for about 45 minutes and then he, Robyn, our nurse, and Mark all took off for the nursery to go get him bathed and cleaned up. I waited in recovery until they could get my pain under control and the numbness wore off a bit…that took a long time…which then sent both mom and Mark into worry of what was taking so long. I had the most incredibly exceptional nurse in recovery though that I could have ever asked for. His name was Norman and I don’t think I’ll ever forget him. He was a special nurse- one who took great honor and pride in his “job” and had an immense passion for what he did. As a father of five, all c-sections, he said that he had a special spot in his heart for c-section recoveries. He took such great care of me, explained the meds he was giving me, gave me reassurance of their effects on Brenden, helped manage my pain and waited with me until the numbness in my legs/feet went away. Along with that though, he actually just came in and sat by my bed and, drowsy as I was, he just sat and talked with me – about he and his wife and their family, their church, his role as a nurse and the pride he takes in his job. He said “The way I see it, I have to be your guardian and protect you. You don’t have use of your legs right now; I have to be your legs. For the next person who can’t use their arms, I have to be their guardian and be their arms for them.” He was just exceptional.

Finally around 3:00p we were all reunited back in our room. The numbness had finally started to wear off some and my pain was more under control. I got back to the room where mom was waiting for me and then Mark and Brenden came in to join us. Mom held her new grandbaby and then took off to go meet up with dad and Adie while Mark and I got some time with our new son.
Later that night Adie came to visit with mom and dad and that was so special, but I had a really hard time with it too. Knowing I would be spending a few days away from her, that someone else was taking care of her, putting her down for bed, etc. was really hard for me. She came in though and snuggled in the bed with Brenden and I for a little while before leaving to go home. It wasn’t until her visit the next day that she held him and really interacted with him a bit more. It was so special.

The first night went really well; Brenden slept incredibly which they said would likely be the case just because of recovering from the big day he had! The following morning I had told the nurse that I wanted to get up and get a shower because I knew we’d be having visitors. They came in to help me get up and at this point, I hadn’t been out of bed since laying down to push at 7:30a the day before. That was scary. I walked to the bathroom, one of the nurses was getting the shower ready for me and I was hunched over the counter and was white as can be. I was shocked how much pain I was in. I got into the shower and sat on the stool and the nurse left and said to call if I needed help. I tried my best to get cleaned up but was so light headed that I ended up calling Mark and he came in holding Brenden, asked what was wrong and immediately pulled the emergency cord because I passed out. In rushed a ton of nurses with smelling salts to bring me back. That was scary…I had no idea I would feel so much pain that day.

We stayed in the hospital until Thanksgiving afternoon and then got to take our little guy home. It was such an extremely long journey, but he’s here and we couldn’t be happier…finally!

A New Chapter

Coming home

He's FINALLY here!!!!

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