Coming home
Saturday, December 26, 2015 - Posted by Danielle at 11:38 AM
He's FINALLY here!!!!
Posted by Danielle at 11:26 AM
It sure was a long road to get to this point, but he's finally here and we're all happy and healthy. What a journey though...
Saturday we went in to the hospital knowing that Lori would be there and we were set to have some monitoring done.
Sunday came and went and then came Monday morning. Mom and dad came over to take care of Adie. Leaving her that morning was extremely tough and she was laying on the guilt trip pretty hard too. It was a difficult goodbye but we knew that this was the beginning of the end with this pregnancy and all of these hospital/dr appointments. We got to the hospital, got admitted and Megan was there, the midwife we primarily had for appointments with Adie who we loved so much. Due to lots of health problems, we hadn't gotten to have her for Brenden so it was a bittersweet thing to kind of be wrapping up our experience with her. She did an exam and said I was much more effaced- 60-70%, maybe 2-3cm, but still at least -3 station. Basically, my cervix was ready to have a baby, but he hadn't dropped to get anything going yet. Through lots of research we decided that we felt most comfortable with starting with Cytotec, even though we had sworn we would never touch it. Megan agreed with us though and thought that was definitely the best option in our situation. They had to hook me up to monitors first though to make sure everything with him looked good and to make sure I wasn't having more than 3-4 contractions within a 10 minute period. If I was, this drug could make them more intense than the uterus can handle and end up resulting in uterine rupture. Go figure...weak as they were, I was still having contractions as I had been for weeks at this point, and they were too close to start the Cytotec. Off to plan B- Pitocin which scared me big time. I'd heard about how intense the contractions could get for both me and baby and I was not thrilled but really, there was no other option.
We started the Pitocin at 1p. Like with the catheter, contractions picked up to about 4 minutes apart, nothing terrible. Throughout the day we walked the halls of labor and delivery a lot, bounced and rocked on the birthing ball, relaxed and napped in the bed, played cards, watched Friends…by 9p, nothing had really taken off so Janie, the midwife there at the time, thought we should stop the Pitocin, get some rest for the night and start things up again in the morning. We agreed, laid down to get some sleep and at 1:30a I woke up feeling a little trickle. I stood up from the bed and got the gush. Mark woke up and called for the nurse and it was obvious that there was meconium in the water- not a huge surprise being this late, but now introduced a new issue. They now wanted to monitor me/him continuously with the EFM. Even though nothing had shown any reason for concern up until this point, it was necessary now. Contractions started picking up in intensity and by about 3a we called mom and told her it was time to come join us. I explained it all to Mark and mom at that point as feeling almost narcoleptic- I’d be gone for a minute with a contraction, and when it was over, it was like ‘bing!!’ and I was back. So weird. Things continued to get stronger though and I ended up laboring in the tub for the rest of active labor. They had a terrible time keeping the monitors working while I was in the tub, even at one point I later found out, getting into a little bit of a panic at one point because they couldn’t get his heartbeat. Finally the pain was getting bad and intense enough that Janie said we needed to get to the bed to check. At that point I was about 7-8cm but it was no time at all that I was through transition and feeling the need to start pushing. Janie said, ‘Ok- let’s have a baby now!’ and so it started. Pushing was the most excruciating part with Adie and it was definitely no different with Brenden. I started pushing about 7:30, pushed for nearly 2 hours and was getting nowhere. I continued to hear from the midwife and nurses, “Give us a good push”, and “push into the pain” and “come on – on this next push, let’s have a baby”…but there was never anything that told me there was any progress, and I knew that was the case too. I never felt the sensation of him descending or crowning or anything. They had me trying so many different positions in the bed and at one point both Brenden’s and my heart rate dropped. His stayed low through two contractions and they ended up having a doctor come in to check on things. I was on oxygen at this point trying to help Brenden out and Mark kept encouraging me to take deep breaths for Brenden. By the time the doctor came to the room, his heart rate had gone back up. The longer I pushed the more I knew I wasn’t getting anywhere. Nobody wanted a natural childbirth in all of this more than Mark or I, although there were even a couple nurses and student midwives who had joined us in the room and/or stayed late after their shift to see the end of it. I finally looked over to Mark at one point and said, “just let them cut me – I just don’t care anymore…he’s not coming.” They had a doctor come in who is apparently one of the best at being able to either manually turn the baby (because at this point they had discovered in the exam that he was posterior), and he was also the best at forcep deliveries. He came in, did an exam and Brenden was still so high that neither or those was even an option. He looked up at me and said, “Ok…we’re going to do a c-section.” My heart sank because while in that moment I didn’t so much feel like I’d let myself down (because I knew in my heart that something wasn’t right and he wasn’t coming), but I felt like I had let everyone in that room down. I started apologizing to everyone for not being able to go through with it and I looked up to see one of the nurses with her arm around one of the student midwives who was in tears due to how it was all turning out. Janie looked at me and said, ‘Honey – don’t apologize you have done everything you possible could.’ Mom had later asked her too, knowing I would want to know, if I had made the right decision and Janie agreed that it was what had to be done – he wasn’t coming. I asked the doctor how long until they’d be ready for me and he said, “We’ll get everything ready as fast as we can.” And I remember looking at him and saying, “That doesn’t mean anything to me – how much longer!?” He told me probably 45 minutes and then I lost it- “I said 45 minutes!?!? There’s no way – I’ve already been pushing for 2 hours – you have to get him out sooner!” Who talks back to a doctor like that!? A woman in labor apparently!! I want to say I went through maybe 3-4 more contractions and then they came to get me. Mark was suited up for the operating room and they wheeled me through the hall to the elevator, down to the operating room and that was no fun – contractions through the whole trip. I had to say goodbye to Mark so that they could go get me prepped and that was hard. Mark later said he sat in a room on his own just waiting. They had told him they’d be back in just a couple minutes, but it lasted an eternity with him wondering what was taking so long. They took me into the operating room and did the spinal and from that point forward – WOW. Everything was better. Instantly the pain of the contractions subsided. As they were prepping me I had the most wonderful two nurses with me who explained everything and encouraged me. Robyn, who had been with us all day, was with me and I asked her if I had done the right thing and she said absolutely. She later told Mark that while Brenden may have come on his own eventually, it would have been a lot more time and not without a lot of trauma to both him and I. They said that I would be able to be awake unless they couldn’t get the spinal to take effect, then they’d have to do the general and put me out- which I absolutely didn’t want. I still had sensation where they were touching so finally someone suggested tipping me back a bit and that’s what finally did it. Mark came in and I could tell he’d been crying. I looked at him and asked if he was ok and he said no- while he was still living it all and worried about it all, I was so relieved that it was about to be over and the pain of contractions was gone that I was doing just fine! They had told me that I would feel a lot of tugging/pulling and that was a really bizarre sensation…much like feeling your face after the dentist…you can feel the touch, but it’s still numb. Finally I heard a little baby crying. That was a blissful moment. He was finally here. After waiting 42 ½ weeks for him, going through two full days of induction attempts, 6 hours of natural, active labor, 2 hours of unsuccessful pushing…he was here. Mark left to go over to the warming table with Brenden and I had an incredible nurse at my side and a great anesthesiologist above my head who were both so great at clueing me in on everything going on- telling me how beautiful and perfect and adorable my baby was and letting me know what was still being done to me too. Then they brought him over to me and we got to snuggle there in the operating room for a few minutes before heading to recovery. Awesome moment. While not at all the beautiful, natural experience it was with Adie, there was such relief that came with him finally being here and being ok.
Finally around 3:00p we were all reunited back in our room. The numbness had finally started to wear off some and my pain was more under control. I got back to the room where mom was waiting for me and then Mark and Brenden came in to join us. Mom held her new grandbaby and then took off to go meet up with dad and Adie while Mark and I got some time with our new son.
Later that night Adie came to visit with mom and dad and that was so special, but I had a really hard time with it too. Knowing I would be spending a few days away from her, that someone else was taking care of her, putting her down for bed, etc. was really hard for me. She came in though and snuggled in the bed with Brenden and I for a little while before leaving to go home. It wasn’t until her visit the next day that she held him and really interacted with him a bit more. It was so special.
We stayed in the hospital until Thanksgiving afternoon and then got to take our little guy home. It was such an extremely long journey, but he’s here and we couldn’t be happier…finally!
His name!
Friday, November 20, 2015 - Posted by Danielle at 7:25 PM
The other main one we had contemplated was Preston. I couldn't get over how professional and prestigious it sounded though: Preston James Fletcher. We also had tossed around Landon and I really loved Rylen...but Mark said he'd get beat up on the football field for sure with a name like that :) Adie has known the name right along but has insisted that we call him "Jaffy Brenden"...of course!
Anyways...we can't wait to meet Brenden James!!
41 & 42 Weeks...
Posted by Danielle at 7:14 PM
Physically, I'm terribly uncomfortable. Everything is sore and achy, it's hard to get up from any position, and he's big enough at this point that his movements, when he's really active, often get me feeling seasick like waves going on in my stomach.
What life has come to...Mark and Adie help tie my shoes:
We have had two non-stress tests now and one biophysical profile. For the non-stress tests, while hooked up to the EFM, in a 15-minute period, they like to see at least 3-5 good movements/spikes in heartrate. In each of the ones we've had done, he's moved 10+ times. For the biophysical profile, they give a max of 2 points in 4 different categories: tone movement (fingers, toes, etc.), growth movement (general movement-making sure it's not just a twitch, but good strong movements), breathing motions, and size of the pockets of amniotic fluid. Out of 8 points possible, he got 8 points. So...in the big scheme of things, we have so, so much to be grateful for and really can't complain. The things that matter, are perfect. He's healthy and doing fine...he's just taking his time!
Another hard part of this has been trying to explain our stance on it all to everyone. Nowadays, it's rare to find a woman that will go to 42 weeks. Many women are even induced at 39 weeks or for sure within their 40th weeks because at that point they're "overdue". Mark actually found in his research that the World Health Organization doesn't even consider a woman overdue until 42 weeks. Even Ina Mae Gaskin was pushing to have the due date changed to the 42 week-mark rather than 40. We've heard all over the place "so do you have a date scheduled yet?", and "aren't they going to induce?". Well...yes, they could induce, but why!? Me being uncomfortable and over being pregnant and us being ready to meet our son doesn't seem like good enough reason to me. Believe me- I am waaaaaaaay over being pregnant and so emotionally exhausted from the roller coaster of this last couple weeks, but, there is absolutely no medically necessary reason to induce at this point. He's clearly not ready or he'd be here!
Along with hearing about induction from everyone, we've been hearing about all of the old wives tales of things to try to naturally induce. Knowing that none of them really work unless your body is ready anyway, we've tried about everything you can think of. Over the course of 3 days, we walked about 8 miles, Mark got the pilates ball blown up and I've bounced for a total of probably 5 hours, I've been taking evening primrose oil capsules, we've done spicy food, many, many squats, two trips to the chiropractor, all among a few other things... I even stumbled on a recipe online that was sworn by. There is a restaurant in Georgia who serves an Eggplant Parmesan dish. A few women had mentioned going into labor after eating it there and now, the restaurant has an entire wall devoted to pictures of babies who they call "the eggplant babies"- all babies that have been born within 48 hours of eating the dish. They've even been featured on ABC. Apparently it's something with the combination of spices from what we've read- the basil, oregano and parsley. Now if you eat the meal at the restaurant and don't have your baby within the 48 hours, you get a gift certificate to come back for another meal. So...since the restaurant posted their recipe, and has had so much success with it, we figured we might as well give it a shot, and I loaded it with spices!!! Not knowing if we even liked eggplant, we gave it a go and wow was this a time-consuming and expensive meal. But...it was actually delicious! However, 48 hours later we still had no baby, I was just left with oil burns all over my left arm from splattering the oil while I was cooking!
Today I've been having contractions all day long, but like every other time, I'm skeptical to get my hopes up because I have good reason to believe that I'll go to sleep and everything will stop and I'll wake up back to normal yet again. We wondered if earlier today some of my water may have leaked...but not sure. We are really hoping and praying that this little guy will come on his own so that we don't have to make any hard decisions as far as induction is concerned. Hopefully all goes well tomorrow...
40 Weeks
Tuesday, November 10, 2015 - Posted by Danielle at 2:43 PM
Today we had our 40 week appointment along with a non-stress test. All in all, I am extremely grateful and thankful that God's got us a healthy baby doing good in there. The stress test showed a great resting heart rate. Also, within a 20 minute period, they like to see at least 3-5 spikes in heart rate due to activity which shows that movement isn't restricted or anything due to lack of fluid. Well in about that time frame, we had about 10 spikes so that was great. I'm measuring fine too, so realistically, the things that really matter right now- we have so much to be thankful for. The bummer was that when she checked me, I was only 1-1 1/2 cm and he's still at -3 station so way high up still...really no progress there compared to last week. She is having us get an ultrasound done on Friday and then next Tuesday we go back in for another NST and appointment. I'm just really hoping that we don't need that. It would be great if he just drops here soon and comes on his own. After talking about these upcoming appointments, she then started talking about induction as well which scared me. She said that she would let us go 14 days past the due date which puts us at an induction date of November 21st. Of course my mind started running with the thought of induction and all that it could/would entail and I'm trying to just chill out in the meantime instead. Mark is reminding me that it's still a week and a half away and a lot could change by then. It's just hard to know how much effort we've put into classes and research and watching documentaries, etc. so I know how badly I have reason to want to do this naturally. I just keep thinking that if I choose to do an induction just because I'm ready to be done and am sick of being pregnant, then it's on me what comes of it- be it epidurals, csection, etc. But if it's completely out of my control to have the induction, then it's hard to square with because I just don't want that. My dad was reminding me yesterday though, yes it's scary that it's out of my control, but it's really not in the midwife's control or the hospital's control either. It's in God's control and I just need to hand it all over and trust that He's got it all figured out. So in the meantime...we wait.
I was looking at Adie's blog and noticed that we apparently changed weeks on Saturdays with her as well. She was due on Saturday, February 25th and came on Saturday, March 3rd. Well we actually had the same setup with her as we do him right now - overdue, and have an ultrasound scheduled for Friday. With her, we ended up cancelling the ultrasound because we were fairly sure that Thursday night my water had broken. We'll see if we're so lucky this time around!
We were able to get the finishing touches done to the nursery this past week. The bookshelf is done - dad and Mark built it, then Mark finished with the stain and varnish. We also got the airplanes hung and just love how it turned out. It all pulled together so nicely!
39 Weeks
Thursday, November 5, 2015 - Posted by Danielle at 7:23 AM
Adie's and my prediction of him coming Tuesday has come and gone now...can't say I'm totally surprised but it would have been nice, although that only put me at 39 weeks, 3 days.
Sunday night I had a couple things going on that led me to believe that maybe we were getting close. One being some very strong, very consistent contractions. I could tell that they were just Braxton Hicks contractions, but I really thought it would end up turning into something because I was just so uncomfortable. Well that night we were having such a nice time just the three of us - we were just having good family time and doing puzzles, etc. and all of a sudden it dawned on me "what if this is really it!?!" and I had a little bit of a meltdown. Obviously I'm so excited for him to get here, but it doesn't change the fact that it will really change the dynamic we have in our little family of three. Mark reassured me that I had many of the same concerns before Adie came - I feared that we would lose what we had just the two of us. Instead, she's been such an incredible addition and he and I have gotten stronger and closer through it all. It will be the same with baby boy I know, but it still is hard in the waiting.
This week I did a very thorough cleaning of the house and it's sparkling now! The bummer is that we still have to live in it now and keep it that way! Then over the next couple days I got out and got all of the leaves blown and the yard mowed since leaf pickup is coming up. I had several neighbors come by asking if I'm trying to jump start things and commenting on how I'm clearly "nesting". I'm not so sure it's nesting as it is just needing to get things done before he comes!
We had our 39 week appointment yesterday. Last week she was a little confused about his heart tones because she was getting them strongest above my belly button. She said that this late, she likes to hear them lower, otherwise it could be a sign that he's breach. She was feeling around though and was pretty sure that she could still tell he was head down but said she would check me at my 39 week just to be sure he's in the right position. Well, she checked me yesterday and I said, "just give me some good news..." The good news is that he is in fact head down. The bad news is that she said I'm maybe 1 cm. and he's still very high up. She said, "I hate to tell ya dear, but you're going to be here for your appointment next week." Now next week Tuesday she'll check me again and I also will have to have a non-stress test that day. They'll check his heart rate through contractions (if I have any) and it can tell them how he's handling everything and based on the fluctuation, can tell them if the fluid may be low. Regardless, we're just going to hope that he'll be here on his own next week.
After the appointment, Mark, Adie and I all went for breakfast to Food Dance and had a wonderful time together, although disappointed that it will be awhile yet. We came up with a new prediction though. Veteran's Day is next Wednesday and through all of Mark's time in the military, working at Duncan, and now working with military, he's never gotten Veteran's Day off. So...if baby came next week on Veteran's Day, Mark could forever have the day off! We'll see... :)
37 & 38 Weeks
Monday, October 26, 2015 - Posted by Danielle at 6:23 PM
I pulled up some weekly pictures side by side of pregnancy with Adie vs. this pregnancy too:
33 Weeks:
34 Weeks:
35 Weeks:
My mom and I finished up the quilt to go with his bedding and Mark and my dad built his bookcase. Mark is dealing with staining it now and then really, all projects for little guy are done! I got out today and did yard work- I trimmed down all of the flowers in the gardens, bagged them all, hauled all of the furniture from the deck to the patio, packed up everything on the porch and got it to the basement, and then Mark helped me load all of the furniture into the porch. Mark kept telling me not to overdo, but I figure at this point, it can't hurt! But...I'm done with it all now, laying in bed, and...no baby. Just more pelvic pain and Braxton Hicks contractions.
Nothing really new with appointments. She had asked that we bring our birth plan to our last appointment so we did and she looked it over. She said, "I really like how you guys did this. We get so many that are just 'don't give me this' and 'I don't want that', but I like that you guys are more appreciative in your plan than that and about us being a part of it with you." We intentionally tried to come at it that way this time in hopes of gaining their respect off the get go rather than coming across just stubborn about things so that was nice to hear. Also my strep B test was negative so don't have to worry about that which is a relief.
I had read about my contractions, etc. in my blog from being pregnant with Adie and based on that, made my own little prediction that he will be arriving Tuesday. Then I asked Adie a few days later when baby brother was coming and she said 5 days...which at that point also meant Tuesday. So...although it's based on absolutely nothing solid...we'll see!
We got hospital bags and the diaper bag packed now which was a weight off of my shoulders too. Now I know we've got packed what we need and if it's not packed it's on the list of things to grab.
We'll see how long we've got to go...the way I see it, he could come anytime from now up to like 3 weeks from now. Who knows!
